11/29/2022
11/29/2022

We'll Have A Recession When...

...I Say There's A Recession!
By RICH ROSTRON
The Response
8/29/2022

“Hey, Chet, what are you so happy about?” I asked.

“Didn’t you hear?” he responded looking at me as though I had just crawled out from under a rock somewhere.

“Hear what?”

“Well, we dodged the bullet …” and when he saw I was about to ask, ‘What bullet?’ he continued, “You know, the recessionary bullet.”

“Where did you get that?” I asked. “What I heard is …”

“I know,” he said in a tone suggesting he was speaking to a child who didn’t fully understand. “You were watching some channel that was claiming that, just because we have two consecutive quarters of negative GDP (Gross Domestic Product), that, somehow, forces us into a recession.”

“Well, isn’t that how they always defined a recession?”

“Sure,” he said. “But not anymore. From now on, we’ll have to consider other economic factors before we make such rash statements.”

“Where did you get this idea?” I asked.

“The president said so,” he responded in a tone that suggested, considering his source, the subject was obviously closed.

“But if we’ve always defined a recession as two consecutive quarters of negative …”

“Do you really think you’re smarter than the president?” Chet said with a grin.

“Well, I don’t sleep as much or trip over my own tongue as often,” I said.

“There you go being condescending again,” he said, a little color showing in his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Chet. Maybe we should just talk about something else …

“So, did you buy that new electric car you’ve been talking about?” I asked.

“Are you kidding,” he responded as though I were out of my mind. “How the heck am I going to afford that when I’m spending twice as much on gas and food these days.”

“Well, at least you’re working,” I said trying to point out the bright side.

“Don’t know how long I can count on that,” he said. “Heard the company is talking about layoffs.”

“LAYOFFS?! Why would they be laying off now?” I asked.

“Well, with the costs of fuel and everything else, I guess they have to cut back,” Chet said. “But, at least with the president’s new Build Back Better program, they’ll be paying their fair share of taxes.”

“Yeah, and they’ll pay those taxes with the money they used to pay you.”

Chet didn’t even say goodbye when he turned and walked away with a frown.


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